Evil Overlord Handbook Part Six

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51. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at
the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite
number among his army.

52. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable
superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of
keeping it in reserve.

53. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel
devices.

54. I will offer oracles the choice of working exclusively for me or being
executed. Those that take more than two seconds to respond will be killed
either way.

55. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey,
ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying
ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around. Not that the key
will be anywhere near the hero.

56. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the
beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks
and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans. I
will then lie to her, and see if she betrays me.

57. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work
for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to
give the other guy a sporting chance.

58. I will not rely entirely upon "totally reliable" spells that can be
neutralized by relatively inconspicuous talisman.

59. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible
for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will
not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for
failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random, totally reliable
underling.

60. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one
man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and kill the advisor.




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