The Top 14 Things Overheard at an Animal Hotel (Part I)

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14> Lost and Found? You don't happen to have any unclaimed testicles lying around, do you? 13> A double please. Mr. Cottontail and I always have more children by bedtime. 12> Hello, front desk? Room service forgot to leave my room like a pig sty! 11> This place is exquisite! No wonder Michelin gave it a five-turd rating! 10> Don't touch the mini bar, Fluffy. $15 for catnip, my ass. 9> Why on earth would they put a bidet right next to the drinking bowl?! 8> I tried to check out, but the clerk kept saying, 'Stay.' 7> Hey, concierge, there's a hundred in it for you if you can scare me up some poodle. Another hundred if she's French. 6> Why, of course moths are welcome here! We'll leave the light on for ya. 5> Every time I try to get a total of how many sheep have checked in, I fall asleep. 4> Good morning, Mr. Bear! This is your springtime wakeup call. 3> As for your room keys, sir, this one's for you, and THIS one's for the horse you rode in on! 2> No thanks, I'll carry the trunk myself. 1> ... and then it hits me: He's just a Vegas dork with a microphone and *I'm* a Siberian tiger! [ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]




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