Your Mama So Fat

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The back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.

I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side.

When she hauls ass she has to make two trips.

They had to grease a door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side to get her through.

When she dances she makes the band skip.

Instead of Levi's 501 jeans she wears Levi's 1002s.

When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live.

When I yell "Hey, Kool-Aid!" she comes crashing through the wall.

She puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

Her ass has its own congressman.

Her belt size is "Equator"

Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

When God said "Let there be light" he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.

When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw HER peanuts.

Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.

Her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."

She can't even jump to a conclusion.

Her nickname is "DAMN!"

She has to iron her pants on the driveway.

The shadow of her ass weighs 100 pounds.

When her beeper goes off people think it's cause she's backin up.




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