Doctor Speak

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Well, the flu has finally struck me! I have avoided it for several years, but now I'm very sick! Before I start studying for my blood test tomorrow, I thought I'd pull out this list of medical terms. It really impresses those doctors when you know all the latest medical terminology!

Artery - The Study of paintings

Bacteria - Back door to the cafeteria

Barium - What you do when CPR fails

Benign - What you be after you be eight

Bowel - A letter like A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes Y

Caesarean Section - A neighborhood near Rome

Cat Scan - Searching for Kitty

Cauterize - Made eye contact with the nurse

Colic - A Sheep Dog

Coma - A punctuation mark

Congenital - Friendly

D&C - Where Washington is located

Dilate - To live long

Enema - Not a friend

GI Series - Baseball `etween teams of soldiers

Grippe - A Suitcase

Hangnail - A coat hook

Impotent - Distinguished, well known

Labor Pain - Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff - A Doctor's cane

Morbid - A higher offer

Nitrate - Cheaper than the day rate

Node - Was aware of

Outpatient - A person who has fainted

Pelvis - Cousin to Elvis

Post-operative - A letter carrier

Protein - In favor of young people

Recovery Room - Where you have your upholstery done

Rectum - Darn near killed him

Rheumatic Fever - Amorouc feeling

Secretion - Hiding anything

Seizure - A Roman emperor

Tablet - A small table

Terminal Illness - Sick at the airport

Tibia - North African country

Tumor - An extra pair

Urine - Opposite of you're out

Varicose Veins - Veins which are very close together




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