"High Expectations"

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A man came home and said to his wife, "Honey, I'm sure horny; how about a little bit tonight?"

"No," she said, "I've got cold crème on my face and I'm afraid I might get it on the bed."

He said, "Ok," and went on to bed.

The next night he came in and said, "Honey, I'm really horny tonight, how about a little bit?"

She said, "No, I've got a mud pack on my face and I'm afraid I might mess up the bed.

He said, "Ok." and went on to sleep.

The next night he came home and said, "Honey, I'm really horny tonight, how about a little bit?"

She said, "No, I took a laxative and I'm afraid I might shit on the bed."

He said, "Ok," and went on to sleep.

The next night he came home and said, "Honey, I'm really getting horny, how about a little bit tonight?"

She said, "No, I'm on my period. I'm afraid I might get blood on the bed."

"Ok," he said and went on to sleep.

The next night he came home with a big cowboy hat, jeans and spurs on.

His wife asked what the outfit was for.

He replied, "Cream, mud, shit, or blood, old Tex is gonna ride tonight!!"

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