The Top 14 Features of the Pentium III Chip

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14> Automatically removes copyright notices from humor lists.

13> Minesweeper now runs really, really, *really* fast.

12> Garunteed 100% Mathomaticly Ackurat

11> Far superior to its brothers, Pentium III Mike and Pentium III Ernie.

10> Goes great with Pentium III salsa!

9> Converts your 3-month-old, $2000 computer into a handy boat anchor.

8> In benchmark tests against other chips, it consistently delivered vastly higher prices.

7> First processor to be made entirely out of Havarti cheese and raisins.

6> Now Featuring, "Good ol' Vulcan Logic"

5> Like all Pentiums, it provides its own fireworks at midnight, January 31, 1999.

4> In anticipation of Y10K, all years are stored as Roman numerals.

3> Secretly monitors the Internet for new porn sites, which are then automatically added to the President's bookmark file.

2> Runs at a blazing 600 EthelMertz per second!

1> Allows net geeks to go twice as long without human contact.

[ This list copyright 1999 by Chris White ]

[ The Top 5 List top5@gmbweb.com http://www.topfive.com ]




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