The Top 11 Differences in the Middle Ages if Microsoft Had Existed Then

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11> Chastity belts require a password rather than a key.

10> Last year's pitchfork not compatible with this year's hay.

9> Lord Gates claims he has no memory of any memo describing his intention to "wipeth my arse with the Magna Carta."

8> The "Good Plague" hoax.

7> Horses routinely stop in mid-stride, and require a boot to the rear to start again.

6> The Microsoft Rack would work, but it would be 3 times larger than it should be and never completely kill anyone.

5> Forget about William Tell; William Gates shoots Apple off the head of Steve Jobs.

4> Use of a large, clumsy broadsword instead of yet-to-be-invented scissors helps explain Lord Bill's haircut.

3> Archbishop of Canterbury gets hit in the face with a pie.

2> Stained Glass Windows MCCCXXXXV actually not released until Spring of MCCCXXXXVI.

1> The Y1K bug threatens to cripple high-tech industries, like stonemasonry and weaving.

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