Technology for Rednecks

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LOG ON: Making a wood stove hot.

LOG OFF: Too much wood on fire.

MONITOR: Keep'n an eye on the wood stove.

DOWNLOAD: Gitten the farwood off'n the truck.

MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerfull gitten the farwood.

FLOPPY DISK: Whatcha git from tryin ta tote too much farwood.

RAM: That thar thing what splits the farwood.

HARD DRIVE: Gitten home in the winter time.

WINDOWS: Whut to shut when it cold outside.

SCREEN: Whut to shut when its black fly season.

BYTE: Whut dem dang flys do.

CHIP: Munchies fer the TV.

MICRO CHIP: Whuts in the bottom of the munchie bag.

MODEM: Whatcha do in the hay fields.

DOT MATRIX: Ole Dan Matrix's wife.

LAP TOP: Whar the kitty sleeps.

KEYBOARD: Whar you hang dem dang truck keys.

SOFTWARE: Dem dang plastic forks and knives.

MOUSE: What eats the grain in the barn.

MOUSE PAD: That's hippie talk fer whar the mouse lives.

MAINFRAME: Holds up the barn roof.

PORT: Fancy flatlander wine.

ENTER: Northerner talk fer "C'Mon in y'all."

CLICK: Whut ya hear when ya cock yer gun.

DOUBLE CLICK: When you cock the double barrel.

REBOOT: Whut ya hafta do right before bedtime, when ya hafta go
to the outhouse.




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