Internet Addict

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1. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
2. You step out of your room and realize that your parents have
moved and you don't have a clue as to when it happened.
3. Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to go from top to bottom.
4. Your nightmares are in HTML and GIFS.
5. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling,
like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
6. You start introducing yourself as "Jim at net dot com"
7. Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you
see a new WWW site address on TV.
8. You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can
hear if new e-mail arrives.
9. Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you
of what she looks like.
10. All of your friends have an @ in their names.
11. When looking at a web page full of someone else's links, you
notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.
12. Your dog has its own home page.
13. You can't call your mother... She doesn't have a modem.
14. You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check
it again.
15. Your phone bill is a heavy as a brick.
16. You write your homework in HTML and give your instructor the
URL.
17. You don't know the sex of three of your closest friends,
because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered
to ask.
18. Your husband tells you that he has had the beard for 2
months.
19. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and
check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
20. You tell the kids they can't use the computer because
"Daddy's got work to do" -- even though you don't have a
job.
21. You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and
mouse.
22. Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to
bed."
23. You get a tattoo that says "This body best viewed with
Netscape 3.0 or higher."
24. You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your
ISP... because you never log off.
25. The last girl you picked up was only a GIF.
26. You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the
chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
27. Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...
so you buy another computer and install a second phone line
so the two of you can chat.
28. As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain
road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.




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