The Ferengi Rules Of Acquisition (incomplete)

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#1 Once you have their money... never give it back. #3 Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to. #6 Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity. #7 Keep your ears open. #8 Small print leads to large risk. #9 Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. #10 Greed is eternal. #13 Anything worth doing is worth doing for money. #16 A deal is a deal... until a better one comes along. #18 A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all. #19 Satisfaction is not guaranteed. #21 Never place friendship above profit. #22 A wise man can hear profit in the wind. #27 There's nothing more dangerous than an honest business man. #31 Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother... insult something he cares about instead. #33 It never hurts to suck up to the boss. #34 Peace is good for business. #35 War is good for business. #40 She can touch your lobes but never your latinum. #41 Profit is it's own reward. #44 Never confuse luck with wisdom. #47 Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own. #48 The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. #52 Never ask when you can take. #57 Good customers are as rare as latinum - treasure them. #58 There is no substitute for success. #59 Free advice is seldom cheap. #60 Keep your lies consistent. #62 The riskier the road, the greater the profit. #65 Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff. #75 Home is where the heart is... but the stars are made of latinum. #76 Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies. #79 Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge. #82 The flimsier the product, the higher the price. #85 Never let the competition know what your thinking. #89 Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits. #94 Females and finances don't mix. #97 Enough... is never enough. #99 Trust is the biggest liability of all. #102 Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever. #104 Faith moves mountains... of inventory. #106 There is no honor in poverty. #109 Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. #111 Treat people in your debt like family... exploit them.#112 Never have sex with the bosses sister. #113 Always have sex with the boss. #117 You can't free a fish from water. #121 Everything is for sale, even friendship. #123 Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum. #139 Wives serve, brothers inherit. #141 Only fools pay retail. #144 There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket. #162 Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit. #177 Know your enemies... but do business with them always. #181 Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit. #189 Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money. #190 Hear all, believe nothing. #192 Never cheat a Klingon... unless your sure you can get away with it. #194 It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in the door. #202 The justification for profit is profit. #203 New customers are like razor-toothed Gree worms, they may be succulent, but sometimes they bite. #214 Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach. #218 Always know what your buying. #223 Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox. #229 Latinum lasts longer than lust. #236 You can't buy fate. #242 More is good... all is better. #255 A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant a necessity. #261 A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience. #266 When in doubt, lie. #284 Deep down everyone's a Ferengi. #285 No good deed goes unpunished.




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