YOU KNOW YOU'RE A REDNECK WHEN:

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You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
You come back from the dump with more than you took.
You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer
quota.
You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool
Whip.
You use your ironing board as a buffet table.
A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of
improvement.
You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.
You can yell to your mom, "Hey, Aunt Betty!"
The UFO hotline limits you to one call per day.
You have ever been accused of lying through your tooth.




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