The Top 15 Things Overheard on Britney Spears' Honeymoon

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15> "Hurry, driver, get us back to our hotel room before she sobers up!"

14> "Yes, it's romantic to carry me over the threshold. I'm just saying it would be *more* romantic if your pants were still on."

13> "Am *too* a virgin! It doesn't count when you do it standing up."

12> "Okay, Jason, I gave it up. Now when are you gonna introduce me to Jerry Seinfeld?"

11> "Move! Go pee in the sink; I gotta puke again!"

10> "If anyone should see any reason why these two should not be wed -- other than their parents, their agents, their immediate families, struggling musical artists who have way more talent, a public that has grown tired of these kinds of ridiculous publicity stunts and humanity-at-large -- speak now or forever hold your peace."

9> "Hey, why is the bride on the cake dressed like a slut?"

8> "How long do you think this will last?"
"Ten."
"Ten what, honey?"
"9... 8...."

7> "You may now kiss the bride. And when Madonna's done, the groom can have his turn."

6> "Jason, you had me at 'I'm a TopFive contributor.'"

5> "You didn't use a condom?!? Well, don't worry -- we can get *that* mistake annulled, too."

4> "Well, we still had more sex than Liza and David Gest and Michael and Lisa Marie combined."

3> "Hello, room service? I have a complaint: Someone has already eaten my Pop Tart."

2> "It's not pierced; it was wired shut by my record label."

1> "You are soooo cute. Look at you! You are absolutely adorable. You are-- I'LL BE RIGHT OUT, JASON... I'M IN THE BATHROOM!"

[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]




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