Top Ten Sailor Complaints About New York City

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10. When you enter the city, your dress whites instantly turn jet black

9. Ever since Disney took over times square, all the hookers are dressed like "Goofy"

8. Ship's propellers always getting jammed with floating mob corpses

7. When you hear "Hello Sailor!" it's almost always in a baritone voice

6. Guys in street shouting "yo-ho-ho and a vial of crack"

5. Everyone just assumes you bought your uniform at a costume shop in the village

4. Smart-Aleck kids keep calling you popeye

3. Have to drink lots of overpriced alcohol to get that great seasick feeling

2. When a cabbie returns your salute he only uses one finger

1. You spend a week's pay on one lapdance




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