SeinfeldismsHave you ever noticed that

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Seinfeldisms

Have you ever noticed that the waiter who takes your order is not the
one who brings your food anymore? What is THAT about? And which waiter are
you tipping, anyway? I think next time I go to a restaurant I'll just say,
"Oh, sorry, I only eat the food. The guy who pays the bill will be
alongshortly."

Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, "No animals
allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs?" Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog,
or the blind person?

Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important
occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants?
"Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel."

Can't we just get rid of wine lists? Do we really have to be reminded
every time we go out to a nice restaurant that we have no idea what we are
doing? Why don't they just give us a trigonometry quiz with the menu?

If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you
ever see anyone take one to the beach?

Why do they call it a "building"? It looks like they're finished. Why
isn't it a "built"?

Why is it when you turn on the TV you see ads for telephone companies,
and when you turn on the radio you hear ads for TV shows, and when you get
put on hold on the phone you hear a radio station?

How come you have to pay someone to rotate your tires? Isn't that the
basic idea behind the wheel? Don't they rotate on their own?

All the king's HORSES and all the king's men? Are you kidding me? No
wonder they couldn't put Humpty together again. Just what did those idiots
expect the horses to do, anyway?

Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person
in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too?
Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? "Whew, I
thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for
coffee and a danish!"

Isn't it weird that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How
did THAT happen? Did some cattleman once say, "Oh, man, I can't wait till
them calves are done so I can get ME a hit of that stuff."

Have you ever noticed how they keep improving your laundry detergent, but they
still can't get those blue flakes out? Why do we trust them to get our
clothes clean? These guys can't even get the DETERGENT white!




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