All About Scooby-Doo....

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All About Scooby-Doo.

What We Remember:

Four teenagers and their trusted dog gallop across the country in their
purple and green van solving mysteries of all sort--and in the process
meet all kinds of interesting people.

The Truth:

Four high-school dropouts and their sentient dog ride around the
country in their psychedelic love machine, earning their way by selling
drugs. Oh, and they occasionally take some old guy's mask off to solve a
mystery,.. but even then, it starts to become apparent that those kids
always seem to 'find' trouble.

It may be a little hard to swallow, but just take a look at the evidence:
Take Shaggy for example. Not only is he the inspiration for the current
'grunge' scene, with his sloppy dress and facial hair, but Shaggy is
obviously a 'burner', i.e., he smokes marijuana. Why do you think he is
constantly hungry? Shaggy can make a six foot hoagie and swallow it whole.

And then there is Scooby himself. While dogs do not generally smoke
joints, Scooby gets his 'high' from Scooby-Snacks, which are in fact
Hash-Brownies. Whenever Scooby, or Shaggy for that matter, eats a
Scooby-Snack, they go ape! It just blows their mind and they do whatever
they are told, because they are so lit! Scooby is also hungry all the time.

The other characters do not actively take part in the stoner-fest that
Shaggy and Scooby do, but they do condone the selling of it because it
helps support their jaunts across the country (and the world--they
drove to China once). These other characters do have their own
peculiarities however...

Fred and Daphne are always splintering off from the group to go 'solve
the case' by themselves. It's no real mystery what these two are really
doing--they're getting busy in the back of the Mystery Machine.

Daphne with her pretty pink, well, legs and Fred are constantly bumping
uglies. Fred is, by the way, pumped up on steroids. One thing that
remains a mystery to me though, is why he always wore that stupid scarf
around his neck.

And what about Velma? Everyone's least favorite of the cast, was of
course, a lesbian. But, as it turned out in the later episodes, she was
also into bestiality. Where do you think Scrappy-Doo came from?
Scrappy, who was a dog yet spoke perfect english, was obviously a
product of Velma and Scooby.

So the kids spent their teenage years driving around the world,
slingin' dope, shooting steroids, eating hash brownies, and screwin'
their dog, while all the while looking for the perfect 'hit'.




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