Who Does the Witness Know?

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Why lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared for the answer: In a trial in a small town in the South, the prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand - a grandmotherly, elderly woman.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams.I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." The lawyer was stunned.

Not knowing what else to do,he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy and bigoted and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he has cheated on his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench, and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt."




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