The Top 16 Johnnie Cochran Epitaphs

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16> 'Cause the coffin *does* fit, in here I must sit.

15> Now that I've bit it, I'll admit O.J. did it.

14> I appreciate the oration, but I'd prefer some cremation!

13> My appeal was dismissed; I have ceased to exist.

12> This grave's a pit, you must admit.

11> You can't avoid the River Styx, by using lame-ass legal
tricks.

10> Down here I burn, all blistered and crimson;
    I've no one to thank but O.J. Simpson.

 9> I had one more rhyme, but it didn't come in t--
ARGGHH!!!

 8> Only sick people find humor in a fatal brain tumor.

 7> Here lies a man with skills like Plato -- no one
even suspected Kato!

 6> God have mercy on my poor soul -- I'm about to face
Ron and Nicole.

 5> As I look down from heaven afar; I finally know who
the real
    killers are.  Er, I mean
*killer is.*

 4> Through the shakedowns and hustle, I remained
Nipsey Russell.

 3> "If the glove don't fit..." -- man, was I full of
shit?!?

 2> Now that I am gone,
    The truth is finally told:
    I'm a haiku buff.

 1> My colorful words were never amorphous, until this
coffin habeased my corpus.

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