THE SMALL TOWN WITNESS

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A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a
trial - a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs.
Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you
were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie,
you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their
backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize
you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know
you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the
room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a
real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The
man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of
the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."
At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both
counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either
of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"




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