How many lawyers does it take to change a...

---

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?
'Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely
and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement: Whereas
the party of the first part, also known as "The Lawyer," and the party of the
second part, also known as "The Light Bulb," do hereby and forthwith agree to a
transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed
from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed
upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the
area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entry way, terminating at
an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the
carpet, any spill-over illumination being at the option of the party of the
second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement
between the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but
not be limited to, the following steps:

The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his
option, by means of a chair, step stool, ladder or any other means of elevation,
grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the
second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction, said direction being
non-negotiable. Said grasping and rotation of the party of the second part
(Light Bulb) shall be undertaken by the party of the first part (Lawyer) with
every possible caution by the party of the first part (Lawyer) to maintain the
structural integrity of the party of the second part (Light Bulb),
notwithstanding the aforementioned failure of the party of the second part
(Light Bulb) to perform the aforementioned customary and agreed upon duties. The
foregoing notwithstanding, however, both parties stipulate that structural
failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) may be incidental to the
aforementioned failure to perform and in such case the party of the first part
(Lawyer) shall be held blameless for such structural failure insofar as this
agreement is concerned so long as the non-negotiable directional codicil
(counter-clockwise) is observed by the party of the first part (Lawyer)
throughout.

Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes
separated from the party of the third part ("Receptacle"), the party of the
first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the
second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local
and federal statutes.

Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part
(Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the
fourth part ("New Light Bulb"). This installation shall occur in a manner
consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this
self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a
clockwise direction, said direction also being non-negotiable.

NOTE: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party
of the first part (Lawyer), by said party of the first part (Lawyer), by his
heirs and assigns, or by any and all persons authorized by him to do so, the
objective being to produce a level of illumination in the immediate vicinity of
the aforementioned front (north) door consistent with maximization of ingress
and revenue for the party of the fifth part.'




Previous: Curly Pubic Hair
Next: Dentist Jokes 5